The Meaning We Make: How Entrepreneurs Create Problems That Don't Exist

I'm sitting across from my co-founder at our weekly strategy meeting, both of us focused on our laptops rather than each other. The silence between us isn't the comfortable, productive kind—it's tense, loaded with unspoken frustrations. We've been like this for weeks now, operating in parallel rather than in partnership, technically aligned but emotionally distant.

Our conversations have become purely transactional: "Did you update the investor deck?" "When is the developer meeting?" "I'll handle the client call." The creative energy and mutual enthusiasm that once defined our startup journey has cooled, replaced by efficient but cold professionalism and growing resentment.

The Message That Changed Everything

My phone buzzes. It's a message from him, even though he's sitting right across from me: "Do you still believe in what we're building together?"

My stomach drops. The question hits me like a physical blow. Is this where we are now? Communicating our deepest concerns through text messages while sitting in the same room? I look up to see his expression—a mixture of frustration and uncertainty—as he waits for my answer.

This isn't just another disagreement about strategy or a stressful week. This is a moment of crisis, a flashing warning light that our partnership is under serious strain. The question isn't really about believing in our business—it's about feeling unseen, unheard, disconnected from the shared vision that brought us together.

The Spiral of Meaning-Making

In the days that follow, I'm caught in a spiral of dark thoughts. Each miscommunication becomes evidence of a fundamental flaw in our partnership. When he doesn't respond enthusiastically to my new product idea, I think: He doesn't respect my creative input anymore. When I forget to loop him in on a client conversation, and he's upset, I conclude: We're no longer aligned on our company's direction.

Every small breakdown in communication morphs into something bigger in my mind—proof that our partnership is failing, that our visions have diverged too much, that maybe we shouldn't be running this company together. The story I'm telling myself grows more catastrophic with each passing day.

I start to withhold information, afraid that sharing my true thoughts will only widen the gap. He responds by pushing harder for transparency, which only makes me retreat further. We're caught in a destructive cycle, each responding to the other's communication style in exactly the wrong way.

The Conversation That Saved Our Business

During a session with my business coach, I'm venting about all the problems in our partnership when she stops me with a simple question: "What if all it is is a communication breakdown and nothing more?"

I blink, confused. "What do you mean?"

"You're making these communication problems mean something about your partnership, about your business compatibility," she explains. "But what if they don't mean anything deeper? What if they're just... communication problems?"

Her question halts my spinning thoughts. I've been layering meaning onto every interaction, interpreting each miscommunication as a signal of deeper misalignment. But what if I'm overcomplicating things?

"What if it didn't have to be extrapolated into issues with your core business relationship?" she continues. "Or interpolated towards some deep chasm that developed between you as founders?"

Something shifts in me. The simple reframing feels like suddenly finding the solution to a complex problem. What if our issues aren't about vision or values or business direction, but simply about how we're talking to each other?

Finding Our Way Back

That evening, I sit down with my co-founder and share what I've realized. "I think I've been making our communication problems mean something bigger about us and our business," I tell him. "But maybe they're just communication problems."

The relief on his face is immediate. "I've been doing the same thing," he admits. "Every time you seemed distant, I thought you were losing faith in our company."

We laugh at how we've both been catastrophizing, turning simple misunderstandings into existential business threats. That night, we create some simple protocols for ourselves:

1. Ask what the other person means before assuming
2. State concerns directly rather than hoping they'll be noticed
3. Take communication breakdowns at face value before assigning deeper meaning about our partnership

Over the following weeks, the change is remarkable. When I feel dismissed by something he says, instead of withdrawing and thinking our partnership is doomed, I simply say, "That approach made me feel like my input wasn't valued." When he feels excluded, instead of sending crisis texts, he tells me directly that he needs to be involved earlier in the process.

The Simple Truth About Business Communication

Here's what I've learned: Communication problems are just communication problems. They don't have to mean your partnership is failing, your business vision is incompatible, or you need to go your separate ways.

This isn't just true in founder relationships. With investors, employees, clients, suppliers—we often layer meaning onto simple breakdowns in communication. The investor who asks tough questions isn't necessarily losing confidence in your business. The employee who misses a deadline isn't necessarily uncommitted to your company's mission.

Often, the simplest explanation is the correct one: we're all imperfect communicators navigating complex business environments with different communication styles and preferences.

Why This Matters More Than You Think

You might be thinking, "That's nice, but my business challenges are more complicated than that." And some might be. But before you decide that, try this simpler approach.

When we catastrophize communication breakdowns in business, we create self-fulfilling prophecies. I thought our partnership was breaking down, so I withheld information. My withdrawal actually created misalignment in our partnership, confirming my fears.

This pattern doesn't just harm business relationships—it affects company culture, creating unnecessary tension and politics. It robs teams of the ability to address simple problems before they become complex ones.

The way we interpret communication affects everything in business: decision-making quality, execution speed, team cohesion, and ultimately, company success. By learning to take communication problems at face value, we free our businesses from unnecessary drama and distraction.

Start Here, Start Now

If this resonates with you as a founder or business leader, here's how to begin applying this perspective shift today:

1. Catch yourself in the act of meaning-making. When a colleague, investor, or partner communicates in a way that bothers you, notice if you're adding a deeper narrative to it.
2. Ask the simplest question: "Is there a straightforward explanation for this communication issue?" Maybe they're under pressure, operating with incomplete information, or simply unaware of how their words came across.
3. Address the actual communication breakdown rather than the meaning you've assigned to it. "When you revised my proposal without discussing it, I felt sidelined" works better than "You never respect my area of expertise."
4. Create a "communication problems are just communication problems" mantra for your team. Return to it when you feel yourself or your colleagues spinning elaborate stories about what someone's words or silence means.

This small shift in perspective isn't always easy—our brains are wired to look for patterns and meaning, especially when business stakes are high. But with practice, it becomes more natural to take communication at face value before jumping to conclusions about your business relationships.

The beauty of this approach is its simplicity. You don't need expensive team-building retreats, complex communication frameworks, or complete organizational restructuring. You just need to remember that most of the time, communication problems are just that—communication problems. Nothing more, nothing less.

And that realization might just save your business partnership, as it did mine.